Ask the Yangxifu: Opposite-Sex Friendships in Asia

Ask the Yangxifu: Opposite-Sex Friendships in Asia

Eleanor asks:

I’ve recently befriended a student that is chinese in the usa. We lived in Asia for just two years and talk Chinese just about fluently, but my grasp of Chinese culture that is friendship/dating still pretty basic. He and I also have actually discussed examining the chance of being a lot more than buddies, but each of us consented to simply simply take more hours to make it to understand one another in the same way buddies for the present time and never to hurry any such thing. I think there’s an evident undercurrent of attraction between us, and I’m stressed that when we decided we had been unsuitable romantically he would back away friendship-wise too. In Asia, i did son’t see numerous opposite-sex friendships (besides with a high college aged children), and I also stress as a friend too if we don’t end up dating that I would lose him. We like and respect this person a whole lot, therefore I wish it is possible to reassure me personally which our relationship can carry on even in the event certainly one of us discovers another person.

Several of my closest buddies in China are actually men — including Peter, some guy we also call my “older sibling. ” But none of them are ex-Chinese boyfriends. And given other yangxifu Jessica‘s response in this essay about dating and marrying Chinese guys, I’m not by yourself:

It really is uncommon for ‘exes’ in China to stay buddies.

Therefore what’s up because of the ex-factor? Numerous Chinese have suspicious whenever their spouse or partner continues a relationship having an ex — that, eventually, they’ll be a little more than buddies. Read more